I hope you all had a wonderful Father’s Day and had a chance to visit, call, or reflect on your fathers, grandfathers, uncles, and other special men in your life, past and present. Even though Father’s Day has passed, it’s not too late to express your love and gratitude if you haven’t yet.

As women, we tend to think of our mothers as our main role models.  However, our fathers and other male mentors play a very special role in our development. 

Ideally, our fathers (or father figures) allow us to experience healthy, unconditional love from a man, which later prepares us for romantic relationships and marriage.   They confirm and acknowledge our self worth, so we can feel comfortable and powerful, while living and working around men.  Our fathers also give us a sense of safety and protection that is uniquely masculine.

I still remember how strong my Dad felt when I was little. He would pick me up, lift me high, and set me on his shoulders. He would hold my hands and let me walk up his body, doing backwards somersaults in the air. And he would let me do it over and over again until I got dizzy or tired.

As a child, my Dad stayed home with me while my Mom worked (not typical in the 70’s). It was more out of necessity than choice, as my father’s health was failing, but at the time, we didn’t know just how serious it was. We didn’t have a lot of money, but we managed to spend a lot of quality time together. Although he died suddenly when I was five years old, I am fortunate and blessed to have abundant childhood memories that still provide a strong sense of love and connection even after all of these years.

 Some of my favorites are:

• Driving to Dairy Queen on hot summer nights in his brown Buick convertible, wearing my footsie pajamas, for a bedtime treat
• Walking in the autumn woods, collecting our favorite colored leaves
• Teaching me to swim with my bubble floats in the apartment pool where we lived
• Sledding, building snowmen, and making maple sugar candy during the Blizzard of ‘78
• Bringing home my very first kitten, “Polk-a-Dot”
• Playing “Home on the Range” on my miniature organ

It’s amazing how deep and lasting his impression has been, despite his loss at such a young age. He has been and continues to be a strong and positive presence in my life.

On Father’s Day, I was in New Jersey, visiting my father-in-law. My father-in-law is an avid gourmet cook, and the Huse house is a hub for holiday family gatherings. He is also an excellent business man, a voracious reader, and an art lover. Luckily, his love of cooking and art has rubbed off on my husband! Being a part of this famly has greatly expanded my world and my appreciation for art, as well as a deeper connection with my creative self. I feel so fortunate to have married into a very loving and accepting family, and as the years pass, I appreciate more and more our evolving and deepening relationship.

I credit these two men, my Dad and my father-in-law, with the wonderful marriage I have now. My Dad helped show me what qualities to look for in a man, and my father-in-law helped shape the man I married. What a gift they’ve given me.